How do I know if my child needs counselling?

A clear sign a child or adolescent may require some support would be the young person expressing this wish directly. Alternatively, they might be actively harming themselves, visibly distressed, ‘acting out’ or withdrawn.Older children may prefer a mixture of creative and talking therapies. In all my work, I am led by the child or young person and together we establish which method is most beneficial for them.

What will my involvement be?

Child counselling can be practiced one-on-one with the child or with parent and child, depending on individual needs, the age of the child and the needs of the family.

For younger children, I like to work collaboratively with parents, meaning we both bring our expertise to the process, mine from theory and experience as a counsellor, and yours from your knowledge of your child, your experiences, your resources, thoughts and feelings, etc. Together we can start to explore issues affecting your child and consider strategies to help change.

Will my parenting skills be judged?

We – children and adults alike – all experience occasions when it feels hard to speak to those closest to us about things which are bothering us. Often this can be due to our not wanting to worry those we love best, or because we want help thinking things through objectively, which is why it is sometimes easier talking to someone else outside the family.

Loving someone who has emotional problems can be exhausting and worrying, just as it is being that person. Whatever issues you and your family are struggling with, I can provide a safe and trusting approach based on your needs. I aim to provide a warm, non-judgmental and supportive environment.

How many sessions do you think they will need?

This is not an easily answered question, but if you know in advance that you will only be able to manage a fixed number of sessions, please let me know early on and we can consider objectives that are realistic within the time frame.

Is it confidential?

A key feature of counselling is that information discussed in the counselling session is treated confidentially. Counselling is a time when children need to feel able to talk about concerns without fear of them being discussed elsewhere. This includes not discussing the work with parents/carers, unless the child requests or gives consent for this. This can be hard for parents to accept at times, but confidentiality is crucial in establishing trust and for enabling children to speak openly and freely about what is concerning them.

If a child appears to be at risk from significant harm it may be appropriate to seek help from other agencies in order to keep them safe. I would aim to discuss this first with the child concerned and then with parent/carer.

While sessions are confidential, the child will be informed that they are free to talk to anyone about their counselling, and I am always happy to speak to parents at any time about the counselling.

How can I support the counselling?

The most helpful thing a parent or carer can do is show an acceptance of their counselling as a normal and useful activity, and to show an interest if their son or daughter wishes to talk about it, but not to press them if they don’t. I understand that this may not feel like an easy task, and it is quite natural for parents to feel anxious about what may be said in sessions.

I am always happy to talk with you about any concerns you may have about the idea of counselling, and I feel the more you are able to support your child in this process the more effective the counselling is likely to be.